Looking for happiness
by Xenia90
Summary: Coda 2x17. Steve sees Grace palying with Gabrielle on the beach at that dinner at the Hilton. He understands that Danny, GAbby and Grace are a family, so he makes a decision.
1. Chapter 1

I wrote this story almost a moths ago when the rumors about the season finale started. Back then I thought that we will need some fic to cheer us up after the finale, so I wrote this and kept it in my pc until now. This story is a birthday present for a friends, I wasn't sure if I would have been able to write another one in time, so I kept it until now. A big thank you to my beta simplyn2deep. Hope you'll enjoy this.

Kisses

Xenia

Steve laid awake in his bed. He just got home from one of the worst night of his life. It was supposed to be a nice night out with his Ohana; he'd tried to take the night that way, but Gabrielle's presence kind of ruined things. Steve sat up, leaning his back against the headboard and took a couple of deep breaths. His heart was beating faster and faster and ached a little at every beat. Steve was used to that pain in his chest, he'd felt it in the last couple of month and he knew that he couldn't go on like that. What he was feeling now was the reason for he'd never let anyone come this close to him. But, honestly, how could he keep Danny further away, when couldn't deny anything to his partner?

Since the first time Steve had seen him, Danny had slowly infused himself in every aspect of his life. He'd become so important that when he wasn't around Steve felt lost. With his patience and his presence Danny had proved that he could trust him, that he cared about him and that Danny trusted him, not only with his life but also with his daughter, who was the most precious thing in his partner's life. For almost a year every time Steve had needed help, every time a ghost from his past had threatened to bring him down, Danny was right there, next to him and he'd never showed any intention of leaving him. Steve knew he was hard to deal with, he knew he wasn't good with feelings; he'd proved that when Meka was killed and everyone thought he was dirty, but Danny had never turned his back to him. Danny had always remained next to him. When Steve had trusted Nick and he'd stabbed him in the back, Danny had lost a great occasion to say _I told you_. He just forced him to get his arm checked, and then he'd taken him at his place and offered him a beer.

Time went by and without even realizing it Steve had found himself relying on his partner, Chin and Kono more than he'd ever done in his life with anyone else. Before he knew it Steve was in love with his partner, his best friend. He knew he didn't have any chance with Danny, but sometimes he saw in his partner's eyes a light that warmed his heart. He'd understood that he was in love with Danny when he was poisoned with Sarin Gas. Seeing him against that wall, unable to breathe had taken his breath away. It reminded him of the day his father died. He wasn't able to help his father then, just like he didn't know how to help his partner now. His heart had started to beat faster and he hadn't calmed down even when he'd known that Danny was going to be okay. Working after he'd seen Danny in the hospital with Grace was one of the hardest thing Steve had ever done in his life, but he was a SEAL and he knew how to handle his emotions, how to push them away in order to focus on the task at hand. So he'd gone back to the office and closed the case. His mind was on the work at hand but his heart was in the hospital with Danno and Grace. When he'd come back to hospital that night, to see his partner and take Grace for the night, and he'd seen Danny and Rachel asleep on the bed his heart broke. Seeing Danny with Rachel hurt not only because that took away any hope for him, but most of all because Danny hadn't told anything to him.

Steve knew that Rachel wasn't right for his partner and he'd told that to Danny. He'd told him that he just wanted him to be happy, but that Rachel wasn't right. Danny hadn't listened and she had almost taken him away. Luckily Stan had gone to Jersey to take his wife back and Rachel had showed Danny who she really was. She was a liar who was just looking for an easy way out from her marriage. Steve had been mad at her for a long time for the way she'd hurt Danny, but somehow he was even grateful. At the end when Danny had to choose between flying to New Jersey with his family and staying in Hawaii and clear Steve's name, Danny had stayed. He'd chosen him. Every day when Danny went to visit him in jail Steve had seen the pain in his eyes. And then when he was released and everything went back to normal Steve had seen something different in Danny's behaviour. Something he couldn't name, something that had made him hope.

Steve knew he shouldn't have done that, he shouldn't have hoped, but he couldn't help himself. And this time the delusion had been way more painful, because what he wasn't expecting was Doctor Gabrielle Asano. Steve had pushed Danny toward her because he just wanted him to be happy: and Danny was straight, he was a family man and Steve couldn't give him a real family. Steve had stayed behind watching their relationship grow stronger. And every step forward they took broke his heart. He really believed that he could live near Danny just ad his best friend that he could be happy for him. The dinner at the Hilton had showed him that he couldn't, that he wasn't strong enough. Even if he shouldn't he had start to think that Grace and Danny were his family. But when he saw Danny and Grace and Gaby play on the beach he'd understood that they were a real family, or at least should be. A family like he, Danny and Grace couldn't be. He hadn't slept all night, hunted by that image.

Steve looked at the clock. 5:50 am. It was almost dawn. Steve got up and went to his morning swim a little earlier than usual. He swam a little longer than usual. The ocean always helped him in washing away his pain. And it worked that morning. When he got out from the water he'd made a decision.


	2. Chapter 2

- Danno! Danno! Wake up! It's late! - Little Grace shouts shaking her father.

Danny turned to escape from the voice that was trying to wake him up at that ungodly hour in the morning; he could feel it was early without opening his eyes.

- Danno! Danno! Wake up! We're late! Come on! - The voice didn't want to stop.

After a while Danny finally gave in and opened his eyes. He glanced at the clock. 7:00 am.

- Monkey. Why are you up so early on Saturday morning? - He asked rubbing his eyes.

Grace, who was already dressed and ready to go out, just stared at him.

- Danno! If you don't get up immediately we'll be late! Uncle Steve promised me that we could restart my surf lessons once he got back from his training week. We decided to go to him this morning at 8:00 to have breakfast together. Come on Danno! Get up! We're going to be late!-

Danny stared at her, confused. It was too early and he couldn't think straight.

- Danno! - She said – Uncle Steve reminded you yesterday! You really don't remember?-

Finally Danny remembered what his daughter was trying to say and he got up quickly. Steve was so crazy that even for half a second of delay would have been able to send a rescue team or go himself at his apartment. He got dressed in record time and they were able to arrive at his partner's house with only half a minute of delay.

Like he always did Danny turned the knob, the door was open, and so he let himself in without knocking. The house looked empty, but the lanai door was open. Probably Steve was out for his morning swim. Five minutes later he heard his daughter's cry of joy. He came out from the kitchen, where he was arranging breakfast; just in time to see her threw herself in the arms of a very wet Steve. As usual when he saw his partner, his beauty amazed Danny; especially now that he was wet, with his daughter in his arms and with the sun shining on him. Danny shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts and watched while his daughter jumped in his partner arm. Now both of them were completely soaked. Steve walked towards him, holding his baby girl, and he looked surprised. Danny just smiled at the two most important people in his life.

- Hey, Danno. What are you doing here? - Steve asked with a smile.

Danny rolled his eyes at the nickname then looked closely at his friend. There was something in his eyes that he couldn't catch, something that made him uncomfortable.

Before he could answer Grace jumped in.

- Did you forget too, Uncle Steve? Even Danno forgot that we were supposed to come here this morning. - She said.

- No, sweetie. - Steve said kissing her cheek. – I didn't forget. I just thought that you want to do something with Gabrielle today. –

- I didn't forget. - Danny said. – I just forgot to set the alarm. And no.-he added – Steven we don't want to stay with Gabby. We have prior commitments with you so here we are. Besides Grace loves being with you. -

Danny was confused. How could Steve think that he would have wanted to stay with Gabby? Danny would always choose him over Gabrielle. He'd chosen him over Rachel. Gabby was a very sweet girl and he was his last chance of not being alone for the rest of his life, but Steve would always be his first choice. He'd been his first choice since the first time they met. There was absolutely nothing he wouldn't do for him, since the first time he'd seen him he was screwed. He was hopeless in love with him, but he knew he didn't have any chance. Steve was straight and he had pushed him towards Gabby.

- Now you two go and change. I'll fix breakfast. - He said when Steve stayed quiet and thanking God that her he and his daughter had a change of clothes there.

- We brought the cake with pineapple. The one you and I like so much Uncle Steve. - Grace said with a big smile hugging Steve a little tighter.

His partner smiled that smiled that made Danny's knees go weak.

- We just have to make Danny eat that with us. - Steve said.

- Not going to happen, Steven. I will never eat that thing that you call cake. Not even in a million of years. You have to know that this is your fault. My daughter was a perfectly normal baby before she met you. She didn't like pizza with pineapple and ham; she didn't care about surf and almost didn't even know what pineapple was. Then she met you. You turned her in a monster who likes pineapple on pizza…-

Grace and Steve just ignored him and ran up the stairs laughing. Danny smiled. He wished his life could be always like this. He wanted to be with Steve, to wake up next to him every morning, to sleep next to him every night, but most of all he wanted to share every aspect of his life with Steve, he wanted to share his daughter with Steve, because Danny had never seen Steve happier than when he was with Grace. But this life wasn't possible. Because Steve was straight and didn't see him like that, for him Danny was just a close friend and nothing more. And Danny would never risk their friendship, it was too important for him. So he had no choice but be with Gabby and try to forget his feeling for the SEAL. Steve was the most important thing in his life, besides Grace, and he couldn't imagine living without being his friend. Danny, Steve and Grace stayed together the day. Danny sat on the beach watching while his partner and his daughter played together in the water. Danny watched especially Steve close. There was something in his behaviour that he couldn't catch, but that made him uncomfortable. On the surface everything looked normal, but there was a strange glint in his partner's eyes and Danny got what was that when Steve carried Grace to the car that night. Closing the car's door Steve looked at Grace like that was the last time he could see her. For a moment, while he was driving away Danny though that maybe Steve had been called back wth the SEAL. Then he shook his head, Steve would have told him, right?


	3. Chapter 3

I know this chapter is a little short. Probably the next two chapter will be short. This is the way I want to share this story, so, sorry, but you have to take this short chapters. At least this way the story will last longer. :-)  
Thanks to everyone for the reviews, for adding this story to the favourite or alerts. I really appreciate this. I write mostly for your reviews.  
Kisses and hugs  
Xenia

On Sunday Danny and Grace stayed with Gabrielle. While Danny was driving her home, Grace said.

- Danno…we should have stayed with Uncle Steve today. We always stay with Uncle Steve on weekends.-

- We were with Steve yesterday, monkey. Today Gabby asked us to stay with her…..-

- I know, Danno, but Uncle Steve needs us. Did you see how sad he was last night at dinner? He was the first to leave. And yesterday…he wasn't himself, Danno. He was so sad, didn't you see that?-

- No, honey, why you think he's sad? Uncle Steve is fine-

- No, Danno. He's not. - Grace said looking at her father like he wasn't getting a point that was clear for everyone else. – I think that Uncle Steve thinks that you prefer to stay with Gabrielle than with him. Yesterday he was said because he thought that we would have stayed with her and not with him. –

- Grace, honey…..-

- No, Daddy. You know I'm right. Don't you know that Uncle Steve loves you? You do know that he loves us, we're his family!-

- Of course I know that, monkey. Uncle Steve loves us as much as Uncle Matty did.-

Grace sighed and rolled her eyes. Sometimes her Danno was really silly.

- I didn't mean like that, Danno. Uncle Steve looks at you like you used to look at Mum and you look at him the same way. It's just….Danno, Uncle Steve doesn't know that you love him. He thinks that you love Doctor Asano. That's why he was sad yesterday. You have to tell him, Danno. Uncle Steve needs us, you have to tell him. - She said.

Danny stayed quiet. Grace couldn't be right. She couldn't have seen something that he failed to notice, right? Then he remembered every single moment he and Steve had shared. The way his partner had supported with his brother, the way he'd lied to the FBI to let him reach his brother first. The look in Steve's eyes when he'd drawn that heart in the air, it was hope. Even if he never mentioned that in the days after. He saw him in his hospital room after the Sarin thing; he saw his smile, but even the pain in his eyes when he'd found Rachel asleep next to him. He remembered the joy in Steve's eyes when he'd stayed in Hawaii to clear his name. He was an idiot. He knew that Steve wasn't able to talk about his feelings; he knew how Steve was used to sacrifice his own happiness in favour of the happiness of the ones he loved. He should have realised that Steve was the one who had more reason to think that his feelings were hopeless. Danny was married and had a daughter, while Steve only had Catherine. And Catherine herself had told him that she and Steve were just good friends, who just happened to sleep together sometimes. But Danny hadn't believed her; he had wanted to see in their relationship something that probably wasn't even there. And his baby girl opened his eyes, his wonderful baby girl who, now, was staring at him from the passenger seat.

- Seriously, Danno? Haven't you notice anything? It's a while now that Uncle Steve is sad. Everyone knows why, Danno. Except you. - She said shaking her head. You need to tell him. You need to tell Steve that you love him. Uncle Steve isn't good with words and feelings, you are. You need to tell him.-

They were at Rachel's already. Danny walked Grace to the door and kissed her goodbye.

- Danno loves you, monkey. - He said.

- Love you too, Daddy. But you have to tell him. Promise me. - She said hugging him.

- I promise, monkey. - He said and Grace smiled.


	4. Chapter 4

Here we are, in this chapter you'll find out what decision Steve made. Maybe some of you already knows, anyway let me know what you think about this chapter, you know I live for your review. Oh and by the way if any of you wants to talk to me in private, please send me a PM and I'll give you my mail. There's nothing I'd like more than find someone to talk to about telefilms and fanfictions.  
Kisses and hugs  
Xenia

On Monday Steve was the first to arrive at the office. His Saturday with Danny and Grace almost made him change his mind, but when he saw them drive away, knowing that they would pass the Sunday with Gabby, he understood that what he had with Danny wasn't enough anymore. He didn't want to ruin their friendship, he didn't think he could survive without his friendship, but being his friend wasn't enough anymore. Seeing Danny with Gabby hurt too much and he couldn't live with that pain, he just couldn't. He'd decided to talk with his team first and then to the Governor, he owed Chin and Kono that much. He was sorry to leave them, they were Ohana, but he couldn't go on like that. They deserved to know what he was planning to do. So when everyone was at the HQ he called them in his office. Chin, Kono and Danny sat while Steve stood in front of his desk. Steve looked at them for a second, Kono and Chin had the same expression they had had that night at the Hilton, and their eyes were full of love and understanding. Danny looked tired and confused like he hadn't any idea about what was going on. Danny hadn't noticed that he was in love with him, even if everyone else knew, so Steve couldn't think that he'd figured that out now that he was happy with Gabby. Steve took a deep breath and then said.

- I've decided to go back to active duty with the SEALs. I've thought about this for long and it's better for everyone. Being in Hawaii I put all of you in danger. Wo Fat can try to use you to get revenge on me. Too many people already died for this personal revenge. I don't want to be responsible for your death too. –

Silence filled the room. Kono was still in her chair, tears in her eyes and she was looking at Danny with sadness. Then she turned and looked at Steve and when their eyes met he understood that he didn't fool her. She knew exactly why he had decided to leave. After all Steve knew that even without him in Hawaii, Kono, Chin and Danny would keep looking for Wo Fat, because they were Ohana. Wo Fat had hurt them all when he killed Jenna and tortured Steve. Now they wanted to put him behind bars, to make him pay for the bad he'd done. Kono stood up, hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.

- I knew it would happen. Be safe out there, Boss, or I'll come to you and I'll make you regret your decision.-she said.

Kono knew since the beginning that Steve was in love with Danny. She couldn't understand how Danny, who was a great detective, hadn't noticed anything. She knew that Steve couldn't make the first step. He thought his feelings were hopeless because Danny had and ex wife and a daughter and had never show any interest towards men. When Steve had left the Hilton Friday night she's understood that Danny and Gabby together were too much for Steve to bear. He couldn't stay there and see Danny be happy without him. She had just hoped that Steve would wait a little longer. She hugged him another time and then went in her office. When she left Steve focused on Chin. His friend didn't seem surprise, just like his cousin wasn't. There were sadness and understanding in his eyes. He stood up and hugged him.

- Be careful out there, brah. And come back to us- he said and Steve nodded.

He'd planned to come back home every time he was on leave, he knew his Ohana needed him, but he just couldn't stay in Hawaii. When Chin left the office Steve turned to Danny. His partner was still in his chair, staring at nothing in front of him like he hadn't even heard what Steve had said.

- Danny? - The SEAL called. – Later I'll go to the Governor to resign. I think he will agree with me that you're the best person to take my place as head of this task force.-

Danny looked at him.

- I don't want to be the head of Five-0. You're the Boss here. - He said. Now he could get the look in his partner eyes on Saturday. Danny couldn't get why Steve had decided to go away and leave him and his daughter behind. Before Steve could answer his phone rang.

- McGarrett. - He said and then. – We're on our way. We have a case, guys, come on- he said and they all left the building.


	5. Chapter 5

I realize that this chapter is very short, but the next chapter will be the last. This is all for Kono, because I really love her and I really hope she won't die. I want to thank everyone who left a review on this story. I love all of you.  
Kiss  
Xenia

During the investigation Kono was surprised by Danny's behaviour. He acted like Steve's decision was a surprise, like he was all the SEAL's fault. What she'd said to him on their last case was true. She was happy that everything between him and Gabrielle was good, because she, like Chin and Steve, just wanted him to be happy. She'd thought that Danny felt something for Steve, but his relationship with Gabby had proven her wrong, so she was happy for him. But she couldn't understand how Danny didn't notice what Steve felt for him and the real reason behind his decision to leave. Kono knew that Steve knew that they would continue in their manhunt even without him. Wo Fat had taken Steve, tortured him and killed Jenna. He'd hurt everyone and now they want to bring him down. And she couldn't believe that Danny didn't know that Steve had lied. She couldn't believe that he really didn't know what was going on. At some point Steve sent Danny and Kono to Kamekona to see if the man knew something that could help them while he and Chin followed a lead on the suspect. Once they were in the car Danny said

- Do you know why Steve wants to go?-

Kono just stared at him in disbelief.

- I think you're the only one who doesn't know, Danny. I kind of wait a decision like this. - She answered.

Danny stared at her shocked.

- What do you mean?-

Kono sighed.

- Think about it Danny. You can't not know why he's leaving. - She said.

Danny thought back at what Grace had told him. If Steve was really in love with him, maybe…..

- He's leaving because of me and Gabby. - He said. It was more a statement than a question. Kono nodded.

- I…. - He started, but Kono cut him off.

- Look, Danny, we don't blame you for Steve's decision. We all want you to be happy. Steve just wants you to be happy, and if Doctor Asano makes you happy, then we're happy for you, all of us including Steve- she said.

Danny stayed quiet. He didn't think that they blamed him; he wanted to tell her that he would stop Steve, because he loved him. But he didn't say anything. First of all he had to talk with Steve. They were leaving the car to go to Kamekona when Danny's phone rang.

- Williams. - He answered.

- Danny…- Chin said his voice was a little shaking. – We found our suspect, but Steve got hurt.-

Danny froze. Steve couldn't die before he had the chance to tell him how much he loved him. They had been idiots, but now they deserved their happy ending.

- How is he? - He asked.

- He's been shot in the shoulder. It's a clear shot, nothing serious, he needs to treat the wound but he'll be fine. - Chin answered.

- I'll see you at the hospital. - Danny said.


	6. Chapter 6

So here we are girls! This is the last chapter! I'm a bit sorry that this story is over! I had so much fun publishing it and reading your reviews. Thank to everyone to review or read or put this story in favourite or alert list. I love all of you! I hope you'll like this. Have fun

Kisses Xenia90

Later that night Danny drove Steve home. The wound wasn't serious, the bullet went through the shoulder without any serious damage, and Steve kept saying that it was 'just a scratch' and that he was fine, he didn't even want to be checked out. Danny, Kono and Chin forced him to let the doctors treat his wound, so now his shoulder was bandaged and he couldn't drive. He was sitting in the passenger seat of the Camaro and was staring out of the window.

Danny wanted to ask him if he'd decided to leave because of him, he wanted to tell him that he loved him and that he wanted him to stay, but he didn't know how to approach the subject. So they just stayed in silence for the whole drive. Once in Steve's driveway Danny parked the car and got out.

- Thanks for driving me, Danny- Steve said walking to the house. Clearly he didn't expect

Danny to follow. The detective forced him to sit on the couch and then grabbed two beers and sat in a chair in front of him.

- Why do you want to leave? - Danny asked looking him in the eyes.

Steve stared back at him. He'd already told him why he was leaving. Besides if Danny hadn't understood the real reasons yet, he wasn't going to tell him.

- It's too dangerous for you guys, if I stay here. Because of Wo Fat and all. – he said.

Danny rolled his eyes and sighed.

- Do you think I'm stupid, Steven? I know you. I know when you're lying. And this is a lie. –

- Maybe you don't know me as well as you think. - Steve said without looking at his partner.

- I know that you know that we won't stop looking for Wo Fat. You know that, right? - Danny said and Steve nodded. He knew full well that his team wouldn't give up on their hunt.

Danny put a hand under Steve's jaw and forced the SEAL to look at him.

- Tell me the truth. Why do want to leave? Why do you want to leave me and Grace? - he asked.

- It's not like that. You will have a phone number or something. You will be able to contact me. I'll try to get home every time Grace will need me. I don't want to leave her, but I can't stay.-

- Why? Why can't you stay? - Danny asked.

Even now he wanted Steve to do take the first step, but Steve couldn't. He couldn't risk their friendship. Danny was sure that Steve loved him, but Steve still thought that Danny was in love with Gabrielle. He couldn't tell him that he loved him because they couldn't stay friend If Danny knew that Steve loved him. There would have been uneasiness between them and Steve couldn't bear the thought.

He just stared at his partner for a second. Danny was so close, so beautiful and looked so concerned that for a moment he thought about giving up and kissing him. Steve shook his head to clear his thoughts and stood from the couch to put distance between them.

- What do you want from me, Danny? - he asked helplessly.

From the chair Danny studied Steve's posture and understood that if he wanted things to change, he needed to make the first move. Steve still thought that he was in love with Gabby, still thought that his feelings were hopeless. So he stood up and got nearer to Steve. He gently forced him to turn and face him, and then he kissed him softly. At first Steve didn't react, too surprised by the kiss, then he kissed him back, put his hands on his waist and pressed his body against him. Then Steve pushed him away.

- What are you doing? Why are you doing this? You have Gabby…..don't… don't play with me, Danny. It's not fair. - he said.

Danny shook his head and moved closer.

- Tell me why you want to leave.-

Steve shook his head.

- Tell me Steve. - Danny insisted.

Steve sighed and gave up.

- Because I can't stay here and see you happy with Gabrielle. And you know it. So stop. Just stop. You're happy with her and I want you to be happy. I just can't stay here. So stop playing with me. - he pleaded.

- I'm not playing. Steve, we're idiots. Both of us. I didn't know that you… I didn't notice…..

You pushed me towards Gabby and I didn't get that you did it to let me be happy. I thought you didn't like me in that way. I'm sorry, Steve. I'm really sorry. I love you, okay? I thought you loved Catherine and I….. I'm sorry, okay. I love you. I love you so much I can't breathe. - Danny told him. Steve stayed silent for a while.

- You love me? - he asked.

- Yeah. I love you. I've loved you for a long time, since before getting back with Rachel. I was scared because the way I felt about you, I hadn't felt with anyone before. -

- Why do you love me? - Steve asked.

- Because you're the best friend I've ever had. Because you'll do everything for the people you love. Because you love Grace and she loves you back. Ι love you.-

Steve smiled.

- I love you. I don't want you to go back with the SEALs. I want you to stay here with me and Grace. I need you here. - Danny said.

Steve smiled and kissed him.

- I love you too. I've loved you for so long, but I thought this was hopeless. I thought you were straight and I didn't want to ruin what we had. There's nothing in the world I wish more than stay here with you and Grace and the rest of Five-0. – he said.

- Good. - Danny said, then smiled and kissed him again.

When they parted Steve said.

- Move in with me.-

- Don't you think that would be a little bit quick? - Danny asked.

- No. We've already waited enough. We already spend most of our time together. Move in with me, Danno, please. I don't want you to leave. - Steve said.

Danny smiled. Steve was right, he was at Steve's home most of the time anyway, so why

not? He nodded.

- Okay. I'll move in. –

Steve smiled happily and kissed him again.

The next morning they went to work together. When they walked in the HQ they were welcomed by Chin and Kono's big bright smiles.

- So… I guess you're staying Boss. - Kono said hugging them both. – I'm so happy for you guys.-

Behind his cousin back Chin nodded and smiled at his two friends.

But the happiest person of all was Gracie. The next weekend she moved her stuff in

Mary's old room, that Steve had paint in pink just for her.

- I love you Step Steve. - she said kissing his cheek and hugging him.

- Love you too, princess. - he said.

Standing on the beach with Danny right next to him, with Grace in his arms, with Chin, Kono and Mary; Steve was the happiest man in the world.


End file.
